Personal Stuff
Discussing Adoption
Beth and I are thrilled and excited to be on the amazing journey of adoption. It is a journey of love, obedience, and as we are learning, much patience. Ever since we began dating we openly discussed the possibility of adoption. This past Christmas we began talking more and more about it and praying about it. Literally, God gave us both this incredible desire to be parents. So we started the process.
For a variety of reasons we felt drawn to international adoption and Africa which eventually led us to Ethiopia. There are lots of secondary reasons such as wait time (the time to receive a referral), travel time (the time you have to stay in the country), costs, etc. but the primary reason for us was we prayed about it, sought out wisdom on it, and God gave us a ton of peace about it. The need for adoption is great all over the world and that is certainly the case in Ethiopia where there are 4.5 million orphans in a country with 75-78 million people (in the U.S. there are 500,000 orphans with 300 million people).
We have asked to adopt a sibling group of brothers and perhaps brothers and sisters. Apparently, finding “forever families” for older (toddler age & up) siblings, especially boys, is more difficult.
So right now we are just “waiting” for our agency to refer children to us. This process is very detailed and involves lots of bureacratic, legal, and administrative processes in Ethiopia. These processes can be slow and cumbersome but as we have learned they are in place to protect the children and families.
For Beth and I this process is teaching us so much about God’s love for us. The Bible speaks of God “adopting” us into His “forever” family!! God had to go through legal and costly means to make it happen but He did it because of His great love for us (see Romans 8:15; Galatians 4:5). The verse below blows me away:
Ephesians 1:5 (NLT) –God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.
We are also learning more of what it means to trust God. I “believe in theory” that God takes full responsibility for the outcomes of our life when we are fully obedient to Him. I have “tested that theory” several times in my life and it is true (starting Rock Bridge is one such example). James 1:27 tells us to take care of orphans and widows. While there are many different ways for us to obey this command, adopting is the way God has clearly revealed to us. Then I read these two verses and WOW!!
Psalm 68:5-6
A father to the fatherless … God sets the lonely in families.
Thanks for everyone’s encouragement and we do REALLY appreciate your prayers!
Walls I’m Strengthening or Rebuilding
We talked Sunday (listen here) that our walls are our convictions. These convictions help define us, protect us, and make us distinct (or not) as Christ-followers set apart for God’s purpose to bear His image and bring Him glory.
I wanted to share some of the “walls” in my life that I’m working on shoring up and/or rebuilding:
1) The power of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. As a preacher/pastor it is easy to forget that God is Almighty and to think that the Gospel of Christ needs our help (it doesn’t, it just needs a platform in our lives). I want my life, ministry, and preaching to be marked by faithfulness to the Good News of Jesus Christ.
2) The sufficiency of God’s Word. (another preacher confession) With all the books and conferences out about preaching, it is easy for us to fall prey to the myth that preaching is dependent on our creativity and skillful presentation more than God’s Word (and with our consumer/entertainment-hungry culture it is easy to see why we feel this way). How wrong this is and how much stress this invites into my life (the “everything depends upon me” stress). I want my life to marked by simple obedience to God’s Word, our church to be bold in our stand on God’s Word, and our preaching to be centered on the sufficiency of God’s Word.
3) The radical call to be Jesus’ disciple. The goal is not merely being a church attender or church member. The goal is not just to get people baptized. The goal is not only Bible knowledge. The goal is not to get people saved. The goal, according to Jesus, is to be a disciple … to radically and completely follow Him … to be sold out and surrendered to Him above all else. Jesus changed the world with 12 disciples, yet how much impact are 100,000,000 church “attenders” in the United States making??
Foolish & Stupid
Paul warns young Pastor Timothy in 2 Timothy 2:23-24 to avoid “foolish and stupid” arguments that produce quarrels because quarrels end up making us resentful, instead of kind. This is good advice for me personally because I tend to be competitive and want to “win” arguments.” However, I’m not sure an argument can actuall be “won.”
I think Paul’s advice is also applicable to the church as whole who unfortunately is know more for what it is against, than what it is for. Christians appear not to be unified and certainly loving when we waste time arguing. Here’s stupid and foolish arguments I’ve gotten into:
- The King James Version of the Bible vs. every other translation
- Predestination vs. free will
- Which style of worship is the “best” (God never says!! He wants a type of worshipper, not a type of worship.)
- Elders vs. Deacons vs. Congregational votes vs. Committees
- Why church in a movie theatre is okay
In 1917 while the Communist Revolution was literally occuring in the streets of Russia, the Orthodox Church was inside debating the color of choir robes!! When the church and when we as Christians get into “stupid” arguments people around us are headed for hell. We must remember our mission to reach, redeem, restore, rebuild, and reclaim.
At Rock Bridge we’ve intentionally decided to major on the majors and simply be who we are and do what God created us to do. Here’s a saying that has helped me: You never have to defend obedience to God!
God’s Working On Me
God’s work on me never stops. At times it’s painful and at times its exciting but it is always moving me closer to being who He created me to be. Lately, in my journaling and quiet times, I’ve tried to be more alert and aware of where God is working so I can cooperate more with Him. Bill Hybels even goes so far as ending his prayer time by writing a big ‘L’ on the page of his journal and the writing out MY CHARACTER, MY MARRIAGE, MY FAMILY, MY MINISTRY. He then just lets God speak to him about those areas of his life.
Here’s some glimpses of God’s words to me about cooperating with His work on me:
- To work on patience. I’m a high results person (just ask our staff and sometimes I can be impulsive and force things when I should wait. And of course, waiting on God is biblical and sign of trust. But God is patient with me … which is such an act of grace on His part.
- Purity is proportional to God’s presence and God’s presence is proportional to my purpose. In other words, I was created to live in, walk in and experience God’s manifest presence. Sin disrupts all of that. Purity is the return path to intimacy with God. Think about it: in the OT they built temples for God’s manifest presence. In the NT, we are that temple!! God needs a temple … us!! 2 Timothy 2:21 is my theme verse for this work of God on me.
- God really want to speak to me in personal ways about personal things!! The book Walking With God is unbelievable about the subject of listening to God … it has absolutely take my relationship with God to a whole new level.
Stretching Questions
I think there is nothing like the power of a good question … and sometimes it is revealing to ask, “What am I NOT asking?” God has used questions to challenge, convict, and comfort me at times. Here are some questions that have really stretched me, my faith, and my leadership:
- There is a difference between believing in and trusting in God. Is my relationship with God based on belief or trust?
- What decision have been putting off and why?
- Who do I need to ask forgiveness from?
- If Rock Bridge went away, would it be missed in our community? Why or why not?
- What one thing could I do/we do that costs nothing but a little time and effort, but would yield big results? (So many times we only think of big, costly improvements while ignoring the simple, obvious, and effective things we could do immediately.)
- What is God working on in my life right now?
Who over What
We put a lot of attention on what we do. What do you for a living? What do you do at church? What do you do for fun? The emphasis is on activity, tasks, projects, and assignments. As a Type A personality, high D (DISC profile) temperament, this emphasis suits me well … maybe too well.
God has really challenged me that His emphasis is not on what we do, but who we are and who we are becoming. His emphasis is on our heart, our character, our integrity … after all, we are human being not human doings.
- When God picked David to be the King, he rejected the older brothers saying that He doesn’t look at outer appearances but at the heart. How much attention do I put on my heart condition over my hair, face, and body condition?
- When Paul wrote his letters to Timothy he told him to train himself to be godly and to pay attention to his character & teachings carefully. What am I training for and what gets my attention?
- Paul tells Timothy to simply set an example in 5 areas: speech, life, love, faith, & purity. What example am I setting?
The focus here is clear: who you are is more important than what you do; and ultimately, who you are affects everything about you, including what you do.
I’ve committed to memorizing this verse in the next few weeks:
2 Timothy 2:21 (NLT) — If you keep yourself pure, you will be a utensil God can use for His purpose. Your life will be clean and you will be ready for the Master to use you for every good work.
Separation Anxiety
My dogs, Bear & Sammie, get separation anxiety when Beth & I aren’t at home. Sometimes they get destructive, sometimes they get rebellious, and sometimes they just get down in the dumps.
I get separation anxiety too … from my wife! We were around each other for almost 24/7 since right before Christmas which was wonderful and amazing to reconnect with her that way. But on Sunday, it was back to work and back to reality. I got a text from Beth saying, “I am having separation anxiety from you!!” Made me feel great to be missed like that and it was how I felt too.
Do you realize separation anxiety exists between us and God? When we separate ourselves from God, we tend to get more anxious, rebellious, and sometimes destructive with our lives. And God, sends us an amazing text message through His Word and His Son to tell us how much he misses us and hates being apart from us!!
Don’t be separated from God in 2009!!
Best Christmas Movies
Nothing like a good Christmas movie. Here’s some of my favorites:
Hon. Mention: Die Hard — I know, I know … but Bruce Willis tackling terrorists in a high-rise over the holidays is hard to beat it … unless of course Jack Bauer did a 24 series on Christmas Eve!!
#5: Home Alone — a childhood favorite and I can go for “stupid-funny” movies. This one is just fun.
#4: Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer/Frosty the Snowman –combination pick from my childhood. It’s wasn’t Christmas without these two holiday “clay” animations.
#3: A Charlie Brown Christmas – Charlie Brown can help anyone get the Christmas cheer!
#2: Christmas Vacation — my favorite in the National Lampoon series and possibly one of the funniest movies ever. Nothing like Clark W. Grizwold and Cousin Eddie to get us laughing into the Christmas spirit!!
#1: A Christmas Story — mine and Beth’s personal favorite. We are forever indebted to the folks at TBS for the 24-hour marathon showings of this classic. From “triple dog dares” to the “queen mother of all bad words” this one has some of the best lines ever … and it is pretty insightful about family dynamics.
Happy Anniversary!!
So today is mine and Beth’s seven year anniversary!! I can’t believe it! It seems like yesterday we were on Good Morning America kissing (true story) after my ship returned from combat operations related to September 11th!! The past seven years have been the richest of my life and simply would not have been had it not been for my wife. Her faith, passion, love for Jesus, and wise discernment have blessed me so much. Beth is my teammate, shipmate, and soulmate … not only in marriage but in ministry as well. God has given us the rare and unique privilege of starting a church together and also serving in it together.
Our connection actually began in high school when we taught a Sunday School class together and later went to a dance where we didn’t dance … we talked about church!!! Both of us are self-confessing “church nerds” and we have always prayed that our marriage would be used by God to grow His kingdom. It’s not always easy because ministry and marriage are both tough at times … but they are both eternally worth it.
I know my best days as a husband are when Beth sees Jesus in me. I pray that those days increase just as John the Baptist said in John 3:30. I’m blessed to be able to see Jesus in my wife more days than not. I see Jesus when …
- She encourages me to preach God’s Word without apology and lead God’s church without compromising the vision He gave us in January 2002.
- She teaches our students … she teaches as “one who has authority.” (Matthew 7:29)
- She loves me enough to tell me I’m wrong or that I need to rethink a decision I am pondering.
- She insists on quality time and having “date day” every week (You protect what you value!)
- She cries out in prayer for people to get the truths of God’s Word and to meet Jesus.
- She asks me to be her “covering” … to protect her heart and her walk with God.
- She says she can tell that I’ve been working out